Saturday Download (5)
Diaries / Books / Existentialism
Twitter: courtenaywrites
Instagram: themaltesereader
14/01/24
I’m not sure what to do today. Maybe I should read again? I feel a burnout coming on. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a break between projects. I had a weird dream about Henry Lewis, people from Eastenders, and a Buddha living in a drain. I think that’s because of the drain they found in NY recently. I think I’m addicted to my writing/work? I always feel the need to keep going with my career. It didn’t used to be this way, but 2020 was when it all changed. I surmise it’s because I have nothing but my work. I should return to poetry for the minute. I’ve lost the light it, but I do hope to get it back. Again, I can only do one genre at a time. I spread myself too thin. The thin layer of butter leaks out of these pages. I had made a start on my Gatsby play, but I think I need a day of rest. I’ve got the Mary Gaitskill to read. Every time I read a book, I cannot help but think of my own writing. I just cannot separate myself now, and that is annoying. I’ve been watching the Natalia Grace documentary, and it is hilariously bizarre, but something is off about Natalia. They are all emotionally stunted; it’s all peculiar. I think I’ll chill for the rest of the night. I don’t know how to be somebody without my work. I don’t feel fulfilled without my work. My head is swimming with conflicting thoughts. Somebody, tell me what to do
Reading:
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
This was a re-read of one of my favourite books of all time. Nabokov’s prose is exquisite.
SCUM Manifesto by Valerie Solanas
Valerie Solanas shot Andy Warhol and almost killed him. This book is a showcase of radical feminism. It is certainly a thought provoking book!
The Last Days of Sylvia Plath by Carl Rollyson
This book does exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a comprehensive look at the very last days of Sylvia’s life.
Chess by Stefan Zweig
This book is very short, but it packs a brutal punch. It is a psychological character study.
Poor Things by Alasdair Gray
I have had this book on my Kindle for over a year, but seeing as the film came out, I thought I’d read it before it comes to streaming. The book is based on the story of Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. It is the most bizarre book, but I absolutely loved it!
Crying in H-Mart by Michelle Zauner
This memoir is absolutely brutal. Michelle Zauner is the front-woman for the band, Japanese Breakfast. I have never read a more painful description of disease.
Watching:
Waterloo Road
I’ve been re-watching the old series’.
The Bear
I’m finally getting to watching it.
Rare Beasts
I have a kitsch for quirky, English films.
Listening:
Darkside (Written by Tom Stoppard)
Darkside is a radio play interspersed with songs from Dark Side of the Moon. It’s all very Beckett-like.
Art of Darkness
This podcast explores the darkness of lots of famous creatives such as Sarah Kane.